My maternity leave is over. I started back at work on Monday after eight short, but amazing months off. Ideally, I would have loved a whole year off, or even to start back in January, but financially I just couldn’t do either.
My maternity teacher is staying until Christmas half term so I am being eased back into things slowly. However, I have come to some conclusions. 1. I don’t actually want to be in school. I don’t think I enjoy my job anymore.
2. I don’t think I would enjoy my job anywhere. Teaching seriously sucks.
3. The tiredness of being a full time teacher and having an eight month old baby is horrendous.
4. This profession is not sustainable. I think 5 years is the maximum amount I can see myself coping being a teacher.
5. I’ve applied for a new job.
Now the thing is, I know I’ve not been back for long, I know I should ‘give it time’ but I know in my heart of hearts that I’m giving myself a hard time by choosing to work in a challenging area of Yorkshire, with challenging behaviours and challenging children. After having a baby I think, ‘why make life harder for myself?’ Why I am travelling over an hr in heavy traffic to work at a school that is no intense; teaching, paper work, observation wise?
So I’ve applied for a job that is closer, has smaller class sizes and has no EAL pupils. Do I feel like I’m ‘selling out?’ Yes, I do. Do I care? No. No I don’t.