I had a job interview!

I’ve just read over my last post and I am a little embarrassed about how negative it is. I am a naturally optimistic person so I am guessing that I wrote that post on a particularly tiring day. I know us teachers are always tired, but having an eight month old baby really does up the ante.

Anyway, I am not one of those people who just moans about their situation and doesn’t do anything about it. I am pro active.

Since returning to work I just haven’t been ‘in’ it. I can’t explain it, but I’m seriously ‘over’ my school. The fact that it became an Academy while I was on maternity has added to the pressure and low morale at the school. So has an imminent OFSTED visit (no we won’t be allowed the three years new academy grace period as we were already over, overdue), low SATs results in year 2, a new scheme of work for maths, new data input systems and a lot of unrest SLT wise; I just think it’s time to move on. And so, hopefully, I soon will be.

I decided to look for jobs and as luck would have it, I just so happened to see a job that was perfect for me. It was as if the job description was describing myself. I wasn’t even being big headed when I told my family that I would definitely get an interview. I just knew. The job was for me. And thankfully I did get a job interview. I had it yesterday and I will hopefully be told a positive outcome by Friday.

As an NQT who didn’t have the easiest of rides, I have been observed a lot of times. This helped me with my nerves yesterday and if nothing comes of the job interview I have gained something invaluable from the experience. I have gained some confidence back. This was down to the fact that yesterday, during the lesson observation part of the task, I had a good lesson observation. The children loved it, the understood the task- they even wanted more! The interview panel observing nodded their heads at times and even, wait for it, smiled on a few occasions. I realised, walking back to my car that ‘wow! I am not rubbish. I am not inadequate.’ I am a good teacher and just because I am a teacher that constantly needs improvement at my current school, it does not define me.

So I’ve made up my mind. That whatever happens with this job, it has given me the confidence and knowledge that there are schools out there for me and I am ready to go and find them. I’m ready to move schools.

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Maternity Leave is over!

My maternity leave is over. I started back at work on Monday after eight short, but amazing months off. Ideally, I would have loved a whole year off, or even to start back in January, but financially I just couldn’t do either.

My maternity teacher is staying until Christmas half term so I am being eased back into things slowly. However, I have come to some conclusions. 1. I don’t actually want to be in school. I don’t think I enjoy my job anymore.

2. I don’t think I would enjoy my job anywhere. Teaching seriously sucks.

3. The tiredness of being a full time teacher and having an eight month old baby is horrendous.

4. This profession is not sustainable. I think 5 years is the maximum amount I can see myself coping being a teacher.

5. I’ve applied for a new job.

Now the thing is, I know I’ve not been back for long, I know I should ‘give it time’ but I know in my heart of hearts that I’m giving myself a hard time by choosing to work in a challenging area of Yorkshire, with challenging behaviours and challenging children. After having a baby I think, ‘why make life harder for myself?’ Why I am travelling over an hr in heavy traffic to work at a school that is no intense; teaching, paper work, observation wise?

So I’ve applied for a job that is closer, has smaller class sizes and has no EAL pupils. Do I feel like I’m ‘selling out?’ Yes, I do. Do I care? No. No I don’t.