Last observation this week…. why am I so nervous?

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Well, to say my NQT year has zoomed by, that would be an understatement. One minute it was September and I was full of enthusiastic energy, then it was December where I was questioning my abilities and sanity, fast forward to Easter, where things were looking up and now I’m here; three weeks to go. And one final observation.

I am nervous. Very nervous. This is my last chance to prove that I am a good teacher with elements of outstanding. If only it could be that easy. I have been told that my lesson this week must be ‘sparkly’, and have lots of ‘sprinkles’. Yes seriously. I have been told to do a Science lesson that is sparkly and has sprinkles. My face must have shown what i was thinking as my mentor said ‘don’t ask me what a sparkly lesson is… but you know…. make it big and lively’. All this was said with large accompanying hand movements. 

So now it’s a Sunday afternoon and I have 4 days to go and my mind is a blank. I haven’t got a clue. But one thing I am sure of, is that I will get my good with outstanding if it bloody kills me, because I have to. I cannot deal with the stress of being ‘RI’ (requires improvement), my self esteem has taken such a battering this term, that I have to finish the year on a high. I’ve been there on both sides of the scale. I’ve had a nearly inadequate observation and i’ve had a nearly outstanding, and it doesn’t take a genius to work out which one doesn’t cause sleepless nights.

So, yes, I will go out all singing and all dancing, I will create a lesson that is false, not a true reflection of how I normally teach and go way over the top with what little energy I have left and I will show my mentor what sparkly means. All teacher’s find that they have to become West End performers to jump through the hoops that this current government is setting for them.

Gosh, it’s all so fake and artificial. 

Welcome to education under Michael Gove. 

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4 thoughts on “Last observation this week…. why am I so nervous?

  1. I had my last observation as an NQT last week and I completely get where you’re coming from. I have also had my confidence ripped to shreds over the past year too, so I completely know how you’re feeling.
    But just breath, because if you’ve done it before you can sure as hell do it again. Let me know how you get on 🙂 and if you want any help, I always like a good brainstorm! X

  2. Thank you Saremaj, glad you’re NQT observations are over! I agree, if you’ve done one observation, you can do them all. I will be posting after the observation.

    Techingbattleground, I know that lesson observations have been around for years, it is just that my school mentor is under intense stress at the moment due to an impending OFSTED inspection and is forever telling me that she feels under pressure by the constant moving goal posts that have been set by the government. I have already been told that last year I would have been classed as good with outstanding, but as the criteria was changed- this year she has had to give me required improvement. At the end of the day, all teachers understand that observations are part and parcel of the job, unfortunately!

  3. Good luck! I’m starting my NQT year in September but my final placement mentor seemed to delight in ripping me to shreds and deeming me RI until the last few obs of the placement , so I sort of know how you feel! X

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